


Confide in Me

by bakasamus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Familial Abuse, High School, M/M, Self Harmm, Underage - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-29 06:49:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1002253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakasamus/pseuds/bakasamus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Left in a state of disarray 5 years after his mothers death, Levi is now a Junior in high school. Dealing with an alcoholic father who doesn't seem to give a damn anymore, Levi's self harming is at an all time high. His only escape from this world, and his escape from his own harm, is Art. </p><p>On this particular day, a new Art teacher arrives...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Levi_

5 years.

That’s how long I’ve been trapped in this hell hole. 

5 god damn years of self hatred. Of being told daily, how worthless I am.  
5 years since my life started it’s seemingly endless downward spiral. 

It wasn’t always like this, No, not at all. I wasn’t always depressed. I didn’t used to have a constant scowl and dead eyes. My father wasn’t always such a deadbeat.

Once upon a time, things were good. My mother was my beacon of hope. But she was stolen away from me, in a horrible twist of fate. 

On her way home from her weekly yoga class, she was approached by two men. They started flirting, rudely, with her. When she told them she didn’t have time for their nonsense, they had other ideas. 

Her body wasn’t found for 3 days, and the police told me I didn’t want to know the details of her death. Of course, I did later find out. And the nightmares of my mother being repeatedly raped before being gruesomely murdered still haunt me. 

Her attackers were never found. To this day, they still roam this earth.

 

* 

I close my eyes as the cold blade kisses my skin. With a content sigh, the crimson liquid starts to bubble, dripping onto the bathroom floor. Relief washes over me in a way only brought upon by self inflicted pain.  
My raven black hair falls in front of my face as I slouch forward on the tile floor, drawing my knees up to my chest. I wasn’t crying, no. The crying had long stopped. It had been nearly 4 1/2 years since tears had stained these cheeks. But that didn’t stop my slender form from being shaken by silent screams. 

Nightmares were once again the cause of this pitiful scene. My mothers twisted corpse was burned into my vision. 

* 

After cleaning up my mess, showering, and bandaging my new wounds, I quietly made my way to the room I called my own. School would be starting in an hour, so I quickly got dressed, choosing to swap out the standard white dress up with a black, and donning my long sleeved blazer, even though we weren’t required to wear it for another month, it only being September. Straightening up my tie, I grabbed my shoulder bag and cell phone, heading out the door before my father woke up. 

It was a fairly nice day out, the sun at the horizon, a gentle breeze blowing the branches of the trees. I lived about a mile even away from the school, so I didn’t even bother getting a car or even my license when turning 16. Not that I had anyone to teach me how to drive...

I thought about the day to come. I started out in English, then History, and go to lunch. Math was after that, and I finished my day with Art; my favorite subject. 

When I wasn’t drawing on my skin with blades, I was pouring my soul into actual art. Graphite, colored pencils, chalk, oils, charcoal, water colors, acrylic. I loved all my mediums, and was quite good at it. 

Unbeknownst to me at the time, that days art class would be what changed my life, again. 

We would be getting a new teacher.

*


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's POV. Some of his background and life story.

“I’m leaving now!” 

“Hey, don’t forget your lunch!” Mikasa popped through the doorway, holding the box she had packed me. “Have a great first day, **Mr.** Jeager!” She smiled and kissed my cheek.  
“Hey, you know, you're my sister. Not my mom! And I’m old enough to take care of myself, even if I forget lunch!” I yell as I walk to the car. “And thanks! Have a good day with the babies!” 

Driving to my first day as the new Art Teacher at Trost High, I smile at my sisters words. She had insisted I live with her after graduating college, saying I was gonna “end up dead if you ate one more serving of instant noodles!” She had married Armin at 25, and they now had beautiful twin babies, one boy and one girl named Carla and Andrew. 

Life was pretty good, at least now it was. Living with my sister and best friend proved to be very easy and definitely helped give me the push to move things on with my life.

My parent’s were killed in a car wreck when Mikasa and I were 19, right after high school. We were also in the car with them, but it was a head on collision, and our parents killed on impact. It made continuing college very hard, and even though Mikasa graduated on time, I took a full year off. During that year, I fell into a deep depression, and wound up going missing for many months at a time, not even telling Armin where I was. 

It took dying to make me appreciate life again. 

Overdosing on prescription pain killers and heroin, the doctors said I had been fully dead for about 5 minutes, and that it was more than a miracle that I am breathing today.  
After being released from the hospital, I did everything I could to get my life back on track. 

I threw myself into art, and slowly but surely made a full recovery. I also discovered that I loved to help people, and so I majored in teaching, and various studies of the arts.

Now, 8 years after that incident, and 3 years after graduation, I finally landed my first teaching job. Trost High was a fairly prestigious school, for being public. The best in the country, I was surprised to even get an interview. But here I am, driving to my first full day. I wasn’t supposed to start until next semester, but the current teacher suddenly called off the rest of the year. Fate, I guess you could call it. 

*

I got there an hour before my first class to introduce myself to the other teachers, and set up the lesson. The schools principal, Dot Pixis, told me how wonderful the students are, and that I should fit in perfectly with the other teachers. 

The day passed pretty uneventful, the students asking the normal questions. (“What happened to Mr Hannes? Will he be back”, “Where did you go to school, and graduate?”, “Are you married? Do you have kids?”) I answered to the best of my ability. (“I honestly don’t know if he’ll be coming back.” “I went to Shiganshina High, and graduated from Utgard University.” “No, I’m not married, not in a relationship, and no kids. Yet.”)

 

At lunch, I meet a few of the other Teachers. Annie Leonhart was the schools Gym teacher, and oversaw the schools Boxing, Karate, and Kendo clubs. Jean Kristein was the arrogant math teacher. Sasha Braus was the Home Economics teacher, and was obsessed with food(how did she stay so skinny?) Lastly, Christa Yenz and Ymir were the schools counselors. Overall, They were a great group, though Jean didn’t seem too fond of me. 

*

With only one class left to my first day, I was left with a great first impression of Trost High.  
But as the students of 4th block shuffled in and sat at their desks, getting out their supplies, there was one student that caught my eye. 

Raven black hair, neatly parted in the middle. Pale skin you could almost see through. His frame was small and slender; he couldn’t have been more than 5‘2‘’, and 120lbs soaking wet. He wore as much black as the school uniform would allow, and opted for his winter blazer over the short sleeved uniform shirt the other students wore. But the feature that stood out most about the boy, was his eyes. To a person who had never experienced loss and depression, it would appear that the boy was constantly bored, or even angry. But to me, I could see the struggle in his grey eyes. That hopeless look that screams, _“Help me, I’m about to give up.”_

In all honesty, the boy reminded me of my younger self.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo chapter 2. Still shorter than I wanted but I'm trying to get the introductions done. Hopefully some full on plot soon :) And thanks for the feedback! 
> 
> Also, tada, Teacher Eren! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi Meets Eren. Hanji embarrasses him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you haven’t already noticed, I basically intend to flip flop everyones generations. So, Eren and friends are older, and Levi and friends are younger. But some people(dot pixis) will just stay an older age. :)

Throughout the whole day, there had been talk of a new teacher. I didn’t catch his name, or what subject he was teaching, or even what teacher he replaced. 

What I did know, was that he was apparently tall, tan, and handsome. The girls couldn’t shut up about him, constantly going on and on about how his build, and how you could just _tell_ , even with his clothes on, that he was perfectly toned. And don’t get me started on his ‘messy-yet-styled sex/bed hair.”  
Considering it was the last class of the day, and just the day before Mr. Hannes had seemed perfectly fine, I never even guessed that Mr. Perfect would be the new art teacher. But as I unpacked my art supplies, something felt off. Not really thinking much of it, I finished setting up, and took a look around the room. When I saw him I froze in place.

God dammit, those annoying bitches were _right_. 

Mr. Perfect was standing at the front of the class. He was probably 5‘10“, so they had the tall part right. He was definitely tanned and toned, in fact it looked like he spent most of his time training outdoors, he was sculpted so well. His hair? Definitely a mix of i-just-had-fantastic-sex and i-just-rolled-out-of-bed, but at the same time, you could tell it was just like that. It was imperfectly perfect.

But what they all missed out on talking about, and by far the best feature on Mr. Perfect, was his eyes. His eyes...no words will do them justice. They were a deep sea green, so deep that they could hold an entire planet in each orb. I was sure that if I was close enough, their colors would actually be layers, a soft aqua blue, with golden yellow flecks, which caused the overlaying affect to come off as this striking shade of green. His eyes could hold you prisoner for as long as they looked at you. They were framed in black, square glasses that just completely pulled his whole look together.

And right now, they were staring straight at me, holding _me_ prisoner. 

*

Shit, why was he staring at me? I looked around to see if someone was standing beside or behind me, but as usual I was by myself. I didn’t have something on my face, did I? Glancing down at my shirt, it was clean, too. But then I remembered my blazer, and how it wasn’t required yet. I gave him a sneer, assuming he as already judging me just based on my appearance. I pulled at my sleeves and sat down, ready to ignore Mr. Perfect for the rest of class. 

“Pst, hey, Levi!”

I didn’t have to turn my head to know that it was Hanji, as she was one of 3 people in the entire school who actually associated with me, other than Erwin and Petra.  
I choose to ignore her.

It wasn’t working.

“Psssssssssssttttttttttt. LEVI.” she was trying to whisper loudly, but it was just annoying. 

 

“PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST. Leeeeeeeeevi. I’m trying to get your attention!” Finally turning to look at the girl, I rolled my eyes as my head turned. 

“What is it Hanji? Didn’t you annoy me enough yesterday?” 

“Levii, I know you don’t really mean that! You love me!” She was smiling so wide I thought her lips might fall off. 

“What do you want?” 

“Didja see the new teacher? Isn’t he _steamy_?” She waggled her eyebrows at me. 

“I can’t tell if you actually find him attractive, or if you are suggesting you think I find him attractive. Which, if your implying the latter, the answer is this: No.”

“I know I saw you staring at him just now! And let me tell ya, he’s definitely staring you down! I think you’ve got an admirer.” She winked and continued to waggle. 

“Please stop suggesting I get with the new **teacher** , Hanji. He’s at least 10 years my senior, and even if I was okay with that, it’s **illegal**.” She was now giving me the biggest, shit eating grin I’ve ever seen. “What is that smile for?”

“You never said he unattractive. You just said he was old.” 

“Isn’t that kinda the same thing?” 

“Oh come on, Levi! He’s definitely no older than, like, 30. You should get to know him. Maybe he’ll give you some “private art lessons.”“ 

I slammed my face down in to the desk. “I’m done talking. I can’t believe you’ve even gotten me to say this much, now leave me alone.”  
\--

Mr. Perfect introduced himself as Eren Jaeger, and that we were free to call him Eren, Or Mr. Jaeger, whatever we preferred. He told us that, at the moment, he had nothing in particular planned so we were free to work on any projects we had already started. 

Despite Hanji’s pestering, Mr. Perfect staring the entire class(seriously, was no one else catching this shit?), and the other girls in the class fawning over him, I’m surprised I managed to get anything done. But I pulled out the painting I was working on, a forest landscape of a lone trail in the woods, I did get about half of the detailing down. 

Making rounds around the classroom, Mr. Perfect stopped for an uncomfortably large length of time behind my desk. Turning to face him, I gave him an bored look. 

“Can I help you?” My voice was laced with obvious venom. Despite this, he gave me a small, but heartwarming smile. It almost sickened me.

“This is a wonderful painting. How long have you been working on this one?” 

“Uh. About a week. I finished the third layer last class, and am now adding some of the larger details. Next class will be the smaller details, and then the highlights.” Wait, was I actually talking to this guy? Some of the other students had also noticed my change in demeanor, because they were giving out a most incredulous look. Sighing, I just turned back to my desk and resumed working. 

“Keep up the good work...I didn’t catch your name.” 

Hanji practically jumped out of her seat. 

“His name is Levi! He’s a junior, and has won “Top Art Student” for the past 3 years, has won local county competitions, and even won State for 2 years in a row! I can almost guarantee he’ll win State again this year. Oh, and I’m Hanji, his best friend. Don’t be offended if he doesn’t say much to you and gives you dirty looks. He’s just like that, you get used to it. And don’t wo-Hey ouch! Don’t hit me!” 

I punched her hard in the arm, almost knocking her over. Mr. Perfect looked dumbfound for a second, before giving the sweetest damn giggle I’d ever heard. He placed his hand on my shoulder, pretty much demanding I look at him.

“Well Levi, glad to know there’s at least one student who is in this class for the sake of art, and not just an “easy A.” I look forward to getting to know you, and seeing more of your works.” 

I instantly turned 100 shades of red, muttering a “thanks” before he walked away. 

“Hanji, keep your fucking mouth shut next time. And for the love of god, stop smiling.”

She didn’t stop giving me that smile until the bell rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a decent sized chapter! I'm having a lot of fun writing this story, so I hope you all enjoy it as much! :)
> 
> Also, I just really needed Eren in glasses. The thought of that makes my insides bubble in a very good way.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing, Levi's shitbag father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Familial abuse, alcoholism.
> 
> Meet Levi's father. Isn't he great?

As I left the school after my first day, I found I couldn’t stop thinking about the boy. 

Levi.

I don’t know why I was thinking so much about a student of mine, but there was something about him. I knew that the boy had seen trouble. But, it wasn’t my place to ask, and I knew this. 

But that didn’t stop me from thinking of ways I could get him to tell me without asking directly.

I looked into his school files, and wasn’t really shocked by what I saw. He had always been a great student, throughout all of his elementary years. Then, 5 years ago, it said his mother had died. After that, his grades dropped, his attendance was scarce, and when he was at school, his teachers reported him just sitting there, not moving, not talking, not even looking up when spoken to. Then, about 3 1/2 years ago, he started taking art classes out of the blue. After that, his teachers saw a very slight, but still noticeable improvement. 

It was also noted that CPS had been called many times, since the boy refused to take off his winter jacket, even in summer. He also showed up to school with bruises on his face, though nothing was ever done with the case. 

My mind was clouded with thought on my drive home. The boy needed help, but was I in the right position to do anything?

\------------------------

I took my time walking home. I always did. The last thing I wanted to do was run into my piece of shit father. 

Today was a Wednesday, which meant Erwin was at work, Petra was at Drama Club practice, and Hanji was sneaking into one of the the local college’s science lectures. I decided to drop by the local library and see if they had anything new in, and if not, I could do some sketches. 

After glancing through the “New Arrivals” section, I settled on a Tattoo magazine. It would help me work on my figure drawing, and how to draw tattoos in a realistic manner. I got to drawing, and soon lost track of time. There was a tap at my shoulder, and I looked up to realize everyone else had left, and I was left alone with the Librarian. 

“Sir? It’s closing time. I’m sorry, but you have to go home.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.” It was already 9pm? When did that happen? 

After gathering my things, I left the library. The outside air was crisp and cool, but not cold. I noticed that some of the trees were getting their first yellow and orange leafs, but it would be a few months before we could see them turn red, and then see the true beauty of the bare tree branches. I can’t explain it, but there really is something so captivatingly beautiful about “dead” trees. I often find myself doodling them on the sides of school papers and in the margins of my notebooks.

As I rounded the corner to where my house was, I saw my father’s car was there, and the windows were flickering with light from the TV. Sighing, I hoped he had already passed out in his chair. 

I wasn’t that lucky, though.

I tried to be as quiet as possible, but the door was pretty squeaky and had a heavy **thud** as it closed.

“Who the FUCK is here?” His voice boomed through the house, and I heard his heavy footsteps as he made his way to the door.

“Where the fuck have you been? Do you even know what time it is?” He eyed me angrily, a bottle of whiskey in one hand. 

I held the strap of my bag, not looking at him. 

“WELL! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN? IT’S FUCKING 9:30PM.” 

Still, I refused to say anything. It wouldn’t matter if I said something, yelled, or stayed silent. I knew what every option resulted in.

“ANSWER ME, BOY.” He came up to me, grabbing the front of my jacket and hoisting me up into the air, putting me face to face with him. I could smell he had been drinking since at least 5pm when he got off work, heavily. I turned my face to the side and looked at the ground.

“Still not gonna say a damn thing, are you? You’re such a worthless piece of shit. And you know what happens to worthless shitbags like you? They get taught a lesson, so they can learn how to behave, and how to RESPECT THEIR FUCKING ELDERS, YOU STUPID FUCK.”

He threw me against the wall, knocking my head hard against it. My body shlumped to the floor, and I made no attempt to move. I knew it would have been a futile move, anyway.

I braced myself for a few kicks, as he normally would, but after a minute, he had done nothing. Opening my eyes, I saw he was kneeling, looking into my face.  
“Look here, fuckface. When you come home from school, or where ever the fuck you’ve been, you announce that you’re home. DO you understand?” 

I made a very slight nod with my head.

“Now say it. Announce that you’ve come home.”

“...i’m home.” I barely managed to whisper.

“And what else? Aren’t you going to apologize for making me worry about why you were late?”

“...i was at the library. i’m sorry.” 

“The library isn’t a place for men. It’s for girlies and fags. You sure ain’t no girly, so are you a fag?” 

I couldn’t answer him. 

“WELL? ARE YOU A GODDAMN FAG?” He didn’t wait for my answer, and instead punched me right in the cheek, throwing my body completely to the other side I had been laying. He kicked me twice, once in the head, and once in the ribs. Spitting on me, he returned to the living room. 

I didn’t move for about 10 mintues, then slowly made my way to my bedroom. I locked my door behind me, not that it would do much if the bastard actually wanted in. I stood in front of my mirror and removed my clothes, inspecting the damage. My ribs were probably cracked, but not broken, the skin had torn and was bleeding, and there were already bruises forming. On my face, there was a cut above my eyebrow, and right on my cheekbone, and the entire right side of my face was starting to bruise. 

I got into my closet, pulling out my first aid kit. I cleaned and dressed all the bleeding parts. Packing the gauze back up, I pulled out a small white tin in the corner of the kit. Heading to the bathroom, I turned the shower up on all hot water, and sat down at the end.

Opening the kit, I took out a blade and inspected it. It was brand new, perfect. I straightened out my legs, pulling at my thighs with my fingers. After picking a spot, on my right thigh about 5 inches down from my hips, I made 5 even, straight cuts. They weren’t too deep, but they gushed blood, turning the shower floor red in just a few seconds.I did the same on my left thigh, in the exact same spot. It was almost funny, even when it came to fucking harming myself, everything had to be neat, precise, and orderly. I stayed like that in the shower for 10 minutes, before finally standing to wash myself. After drying, I wrapped my legs so the wounds wouldn’t reopen, and went to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can already tell that there will be points of this story that i will cry while writing. 
> 
> ALSOOO. I made a tag for this fic if anyone is interested in posting about it :)  
> it's "Fic: confide in me" also my tumblr url is rivailleloveseren :) Thanks so much for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg I am so sorry this is so late.
> 
> This was supposed to be longer, with an Eren POV part at the end but I'm like, soo freaking stuck. I don't know how to write the next part of this chapter and it kept getting more and more late so I just decided to post what I have and I'll make Eren's part the next chapter. Again I'm so sorry and thanks to everyone for waiting I love you all <3

I didn’t go to school for the next 2 days, letting the wounds on my face start to heal so I wouldn’t get as many questions. I stayed in my room those three days, alternating between drawing and sleeping. Father left me alone since I wasn’t getting in his way. 

Since it was now Saturday, I didn’t have to worry about calling the school saying that I was “still sick”, and Father would be gone all day doing whatever it is he does to pay the bills. Getting out of an hour long shower, I threw on my black skinny jeans with a grey long sleeve shirt, and put on a thin black hoodie over it. 

Walking towards town, I pull out my phone and dialed a number.

“Hey Levi, how are you doing? You missed the last 2 days of school, is everything okay?”

“I’m fine, Erwin. What are you doing? I’m bored.”

“I’m with Petra at the Dock Cafe. We’re getting coffee.”

“Okay, be there in 20.” I hung up without waiting for a response. 

Dock Cafe wasn’t really on a dock, as we didn’t have one around here. It was just a local cafe, though often it was called the ‘gay cafe’ since the owners are lesbians and have a lot of pride stuff hanging, but they serve the best coffee and tea you’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting, so most people in the town(even homophobes) just shut the fuck up and enjoyed their beverages in silent contentment. This was where we spent most of our time during non-school hours. 

In 20 minutes flat, I arrived at the cafe. Erwin and Petra were at their normal booth, a rounded bench table in the very back corner. 

“Oi. Where’s shitty glasses?” 

“ _Hanji_ is attending a lecture. She said she’ll join us in an hour.”

Sitting my bag on the bench, I sat down opposite of them. They both smiled, and then immediately frown. 

“What happened to your face?!” They loud-whispered in unison.

“Hi guys, nice to see you too. Take a guess. Or rather, don’t, you know what happened. Same as always.”

Petra gave me a sad look, while Erwin stayed pretty blank. Petra spoke first. 

“You know, my parents have said plenty that our house is yours if needed. And Erwin lives right next door to us.. You don’t have to live with him. We’re your friends and we care about you.” She placed her hand on top of mine, squeezing gently. 

“He knows where you both live. If I disappeared, he’d come looking for me and drag me back. If I told him I was leaving, he’d probably kill me, or at least beat me into a vegetative state. I can’t leave until I have a place to go that he won’t find.” 

Erwin spoke next.  
“You know, my parents trained me on how to shot. No one would even miss him.” 

“Erwin Smith! You did not just say you could kill him! As much of an asshole as he is, that’s still murder and you are 18!” Petra hit him quite hard.

“I was joking. Kinda.” I gave a half smile, more sarcastic than genuine.

“Thanks for the offer, but Petra’s right. You aren’t going to go to jail for me.”

“Suit yourself.”

We talked amongst ourselves for the next hour and a half, and Hanji finally arrived.

“Hey! Sorry I’m late! The prof realized I wasn’t on the class roster, so he sent me to the college dean.”

“Oh shit, how much trouble are you in?” Petra’s eyes were like saucers.

“Well...None. I’m now a student of Trost University!” 

“Oh my gosh that’s awesome!”

“Do they even let high school Seniors in? Can you get me in?” 

I half listened to them talk about Hanji’s new enrollment, gazing across the cafe. Suddenly, a pair of Sea-green glass eyes through black frames locked with mine. 

“Shit.” I murmured under my breath. 

“What is it-Oohhhh, look who it is! Erwin, Petra, that’s him! That’s the new teacher!”

Hanji jumped out of her seat and was about to start walking towards Mr. Perfect, but I grabbed her arm and almost pulled her to the ground.

“Don’t you even fucking dare.”

“He already saw you! You have to go say hi!”

“...too late, Levi. He’s coming this way.”

I followed Petra’s gaze back to *him*, and sure enough, he was walking over here. Suddenly, my cup of tea was very interesting.

“Hi Mr. Jaeger! Fancy seeing you here! How’s your off day going?” Always the social butterfly, Hanji greets him first.

“Hey there Hanji. My day’s going great, how about you all?”

“We’re doing wonderful! This is Erwin and Petra, the friends of mine I was telling you about Friday. Erwin is a Senior and Petra is a Junior. Though neither is into art so I doubt you’ll have them in class. And Levi is hiding over here. Say hi, Levi!”

I just nodded my head once, not even looking up from my cup.

“Would you all be okay if I had a word with Levi, alone? I wanted to talk about what he missed in class.” 

Fuck. Please say no, guys. 

“Why of course! We needed more coffee anyways!”

Dammit Hanji. Stop.

Smiling, Mr. Perfect sat where Petra and Erwin had been, across from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh yeh this is where I'm stuck. please be patient with me uwu
> 
> Thanks for the support I've been getting on TUmblr! You guys don't know how much it helps to hear that people actually like this story. ^^
> 
> Tumblr Url: rivailleloveseren  
> tracking: "fic: confide in me" :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren confronts Levi at the Coffee shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay new chapter. I'm sorry it's late again. uwu 
> 
> Thank you sooo much for all the support! It's all the wonderful comments and messages I get that keep me writing <3

When Levi missed 2 days of school in a row, Hanji assured me that he had just come down with a cold and would be back the following week. The girl talked a lot, telling me more about Levi’s art history and about their other friends. Turns out the boy, although an art protégé at the school, only had a small handful of friends. He was admired by many, but wouldn’t let anyone in. Hanji herself had only gotten so close because they were childhood friends. She got a sad look on herface when the past was brought up, and I remembered Levi’s school records and his mothers passing. 

I decided it was best not to ask a this point. 

She told me that the group of friends frequented a small café downtown called The Dock. I had been past there before, and had meant to stop in but never had. When she said that they usually hung out there on Saturdays, I decided I might stop by, if only to make sure Levi is okay. 

I had to admit, my brain was waging war on itself. On one side, I really wanted to get to know Levi, and if he was indeed in as much trouble as his school record shows(and the look in his eyes tell me the same) then I wanted to help him. 

But the other half of me knew that getting to know him on a personal level would be perceived in a very negative way. Sure, I knew Hanji wouldn’t mind. The girl is practically *forcing* herself around me so she can talk about Levi more. But a teacher having any type of casual relationship, albeit romantic or not, was deeply frowned upon. 

Friday night was filled with nightmares of what I should do, and it left me restless. 

____________

Shit, were those _bruises?_

I noticed Levi as soon as he walked into the café, though since he didn’t see me I just stayed in my seat. Hanji was right, this place did have the best coffee in town. 

Levi walked over to where a couple other high school students were sitting, a tall blonde boy, and a small honey blonde girl. They were holding hands and laughing, though upon seeing Levi’s condition they went pale. Their voices were hushed and I was rather far away so I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could tell that both students were concerned for the others welfare.

“Erwin Smith! You did not just say you could kill him!” I heard that, I think the entire café heard the petite blonde, though being high school students they were mostly ignored. 

After an hour and a half, I was honestly getting ready to leave. Levi was alive and, though not in great shape, seemed to be doing well enough. I still wasn’t in the right position to do anything at this point. As I was putting away my laptop, the door to the café chimed, and I saw Hanji walking towards the group. She was excited about something, and I heard “Trost University.” Maybe she got accepted, she did say she was hoping to attend. 

Not realizing that I was staring, a pair of grey eyes met mine. The group shifted their attention to me, and I saw Hanji practially jump for joy and start over here, but Levi pulled her back. At that point, I decided I had no choice so I got up and started over. 

“Hi Mr. Jaeger! Fancy seeing you here! How’s your off day going?”

“We’re doing wonderful! This is Erwin and Petra, the friends of mine I was telling you about Friday. Erwin is a Senior and Petra is a Junior. Though neither is into art so I doubt you’ll have them in class. And Levi is hiding over here. Say hi, Levi!”

He didn’t look up, and I barely saw the nod of his head. His cheeks were barely dusted with pink, and being closer I could see the bruise around his eye and jaw. It took a really hard hit to create that.

Turning back to Hanji, I wracked my brain for something that would let me speak with Levi privately.

 

“Would you all be okay if I had a word with Levi, alone? I wanted to talk about what he missed in class.”

I saw a flash of panic wash over Levi before his stoic expression was back. 

“Why of course! We needed more coffee anyways!” Hanji smiled big at Levi as the two students; Erwin and Petra were their names, got out of their seats and walked towards the counter. 

Sitting down in their absence, I smile at the now glaring Levi.

_____________

Son of a fucking fuck, why the fuck did Hanji have to do this. I glare at Mr. Perfect from across the table, before resuming staring at my tea. 

“I heard you caught a cold, are you feeling better?”

So that’s what was being said about my 2 day absence. 

“Fuckin’ splendid. Good as new.” I replied without looking up, and heard a small sigh escape from him. 

“Do you want to know what you’ve missed?”

 

Why the fuck was he trying to talk to me alone? We both knew I hadn’t “missed” anything, he was a fucking Art teacher, he didn’t assign specific projects and I was already working on one when he transferred. The only thing I could have missed was if he had the class start daily journals with drawing prompts for ‘warming up’, which I could catch up on easily when I returned. 

I looked up from my tea to glare but suddenly, my breathe stopped. 

He wasn’t looking at me like a teacher looks at a student who has missed work. 

_He knows_. And I’m not talking just about the apparent bruises on my face either. The look in his eyes, He fucking _knows everything_. It’s not a look of pity, but there was definitely some concern in them. Just like when I first saw him at school, his eyes held me in their gaze, and I literally had to force myself to look away, but not until after it had become uncomfortable. 

“I don’t know why you are here. I am nearly finished with my painting, and if I missed anything in class I can easily make it up on Monday. There’s nothing for you to “talk to me” about.”

His eyes fell for a split second before I felt fingertips gently grazing the bruises along my jaw.

“How did you get these?” He cupped my cheek and ran his thumb beneath my eye, once again just barely touching the bruise there. 

I leaned back out of his reach and turned my head to look out the window and lied.

“I fell.”

“Bull-fucking-shit Levi we both know that-” Another sigh, but much louder. Had he just lost his cool for a bit? 

“Look, “we” don’t know anything. You are my teacher, and one that I barely know at that. I told you that I fell. now be a good, role-fucking-model adult and believe my lies.” My words were laced with venom and I knew I let too much slip, but I didn’t care. I grabbed my tea and stood up. “I’m leaving, I still feel dizzy from my cold. I’ll see you at school on Monday.” With that, I hurriedly left the coffee shop without saying goodbye to my friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Semi long chapter?.  
> Anyways, thanks for reading!
> 
> tumblr url: rivailleloveseren
> 
> following tag: fic: confide in me  
> (I think tumblr eats my tags though ;-;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has a mental breakdown and finally lets Eren in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god oh god oh god I'm so sorry, this is so late.
> 
> This is a very emotional chapter and I cried writing it. But lots happens, and I really hope I didn't write Levi too out of character because, ahhhhhh. *tears at hair*
> 
> Suggested song for this chapter is Saosin- You're not Alone.
> 
> tumblr- rivailleloveseren  
> tracking: fic: confide in me

The next few weeks at school, I didn’t speak with anyone. Hanji tried to get me to tell her what was wrong, but really I didn’t have an answer. I was upset, yes, but...why exactly? This guy, an adult, was offering me a helping hand. And I slapped it away like a spoiled child. 

Because there was no way he knew what I was going through, right? He has no right to just come in out of the blue and expect me to let him in, just like that! 

‘But you do want his help, don’t you? Your piece of shit father doesn’t know him. He could be the escape you need. The escape you are silently begging for.’

Sitting against the shower wall, I wrap my arms around the back of my neck and pull my knees up to meet my head. How much longer can I honestly stay here, and stay alive? My father was getting more violent by the day, and my arms and thighs look worse than they ever have. If his next beating didn’t kill me, I was likely to die by my own hand. Worst part was, I don’t think it’d honestly be that bad of an event. I was only holding everyone back, making them care for me. 

 

*

Gathering supplies, I started planning out my next piece of art. I finished the forest scape, and Mr. Jaeger liked it so much, it’s now hanging next to the chalk board in a “Featured Artworks” type thing, with a few other pieces from students. 

My inspiration was dark today. It was the anniversary of my mothers death. I knew my father knew it was today, too. Last night he had lifted me by my shirt, throwing me against the wall, his face inches from mine. 

_“If you come home tomorrow, you best not bother me, boy. I hear a slight little peep from you, the squeak of the floor boards, and you just might be seeing your mother. But then again, you don’t deserve that. She was a fucking angel, and you...you’re not worth the shit on my shoe. So maybe I’ll just beat you to near death. Yeh, I think that’s what I’ll do. So actually, make sure you do come home tomorrow. I’ll have a nice little surprise for you.”_

I set out a large 40“x50“ piece of paper, so large it was hanging off the desk. Moving to the floor in the corner of the room, I brought my chalk pastels with me and started working. Shades of blue and black and silver stained the surface as I worked out my frustrations. 

A few people would stop and stare at me working for a few minutes, but none stayed as they had shit of their own to do, but I noticed Mr. Jaeger kept frequenting the corner I occupied. He would stand and observe quietly, write something down in his notebook and move on, but within 5 minutes would be back to do the same thing. 

Stopping to glance down at the progress I had made, I frown and grab the red chalk, scribbling out a mess of emotion onto the piece, then going back with the white to add detail. 

The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day but I was in no hurry to leave. 10 minutes had passed, and Mr. Jaeger came over to the corner again.

“School is out, you know. You can leave now.”

Leaning back on my hind legs, I peer up at him with a deadpan expression, and decided on saying nothing, so I went back to drawing. After a few minutes, the older man plopped down next to me, simply observing in silence as I worked. It unnerved me at first, but after a while I completely forgot he was there as I worked on the finishing touches. 

Pulling back again to check the final outcome, I’m pleased with myself. Closing my eyes, I hum in affirmation and content, a small, relaxed smile barely gracing my lips.  
\--------------

“That’s a magnificent piece there, Levi, but it’s a bit startling.”

The boy almost fell over, look of content gone and closed eyes now wide. For a split second, I could have sworn he coward back a bit, a look of fear in those grey eyes, but if it had been there, I would have missed if I blinked. I give him a soft smile and look back down to his artwork. 

He had drawn a mirror, a shattered mirror that had several different shards. Each shard had a piece of his reflection drawn into it. The first was his normal face; pale skin, grey eyes, slightly pursed lips. The second was darker, tears at his eyes, his skin “broken” and missing in pieces, as if he was a porcelain doll someone had thrown against the wall. In the middle, he was a monster. Red skin, pointed teeth, his eyes full of rage, resentment, animosity and mania. Forth, was as if he was a ghost, the mirror shard fogged over, but he was smiling, his eyes slightly crinkled at the corners. He looked young, like a child. The last shard was empty, reflecting only the background of the room he occupied. 

“Is this how you see yourself? Or how you think you are perceived?” 

He didn’t answer, which I fully expected. 

Inside, my head was waging war again. I wanted so badly to pull the younger man against me and tell him everything was going to be okay. But I knew I couldn’t, and he wouldn’t let me if I tried. But at the same time, seeing this side of him felt like he was pleading for help, a silent cry through his art. It felt like something I couldn’t ignore.

“I’m sorry about what I said at the cafe. It was inappropriate of me and I stepped way out of line by touching you and I realize now that I should never have even approached you and-”

“no.” His voice was barely a whisper, and I almost thought I had imagined it. But looking over at him, his fists were balled on his knees, shoulders hunched and covering his face.

“No? Levi what....”

His slender frame started to shake. Was he crying? Oh god, he was crying. Shit, I wasn’t prepared for this. How do I handle a crying kid? Would he let me hug him? Should I chance it? While lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t noticed I was staring at him, and he started to speak, slowly and deliberately, thinking through each word as if it was physically paining him to do so.

“i can’t go home. not tonight. oh god, not tonight. he’s going to kill me. he blames me for her death. i thought dying might solve everyone's problems but i’m such a fucking coward. i’m such a worthless shit i can’t even. i’m scared to die.” 

He turns to me and tears have stained his face, and he looks so broken. It’s just like his artwork, he’s been thrown against the wall too many times and his whole being is shattering before me. Before I know what’s happening, I too am crying and I pull him over and wrap my arms around him, nestling his head into my shoulder. He’s stiff, tense, but soon just completely gives limp, silently crying against me. He’s not loud, not bawling his eyes out hysterically, but then again I never expected him to be. He just sits there, leaning limply against me as the tears slip from his eyes. 

“i don’t want to die. oh god i’m so scared. i have no where to go. but i can’t go home.”

Stuck between a rock and a hard place, I wanted to invite him to stay with me. But I couldn’t do that, and I’m not sure how Mikasa and Armin would react to me bringing a student home.

“Shhh. Levi, it’s okay. You don’t have to go home. I’m here for you, I can help you find a place to stay. What about your friends? Hanji, Erwin, they seem like lovely people who would love to help you.” He shakes his head.

“He knows where they live. He’d know in an instant where I was, I don’t want to involve them in this.” 

“Do you have any relatives?” He shakes his head again, but doesn’t say anything. 

Sighing, I stroke his hair gently, thinking of anyway I could calm him down. 

So I started to sing. 

_“You’re not alone. There is more to this, I know. You can make it out. You will live to tell.”_

Rocking him back and forth, I finish singing as I notice he is not longer shaking, and he gently wipes at his eyes with his arm, his sleeve slipping down and revealing hack marks on his arm. He notices and tenses back up, grabbing quickly at his sleeves to hold them down. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” I start singing again as I pull up my own sleeve. “ ** _You are not alone_**.” 

\----

Pulling his sleeve up while singing, he reveals his arms. I gawk for a second at what I see. 

Scars. Everywhere, scars. Some thin, neatly applied. Others deep, thoughtless gashes. But all are old, a bright white against his tan skin. 

“why are you showing me this” I can barely whisper as the words leave me.

“Levi, I can help you. More importantly, I _want_ to help you. I know what you are going through and I know how isolating it is. I know how it feels like you are the biggest burden on the planet to the people who love you but I can promise you, that isn’t true. Your friends love you more than you know, I can tell. Especially Hanji, bless that girl, you should know this. But I know you don’t, because I’ve been in your shoes.

I know your mother died when you were young. My parents died in a car crash when I was 19, right after high school and as my sister and I were starting college. I blamed myself everyday for years, saying it was me who distracted my dad, causing him to swerve over the median and hit the oncoming car. We had been arguing, I don’t even remember what about now. But he turned to yell at me, and the next thing I knew I was waking up in the hospital. 

The last conversation I had with my parents was an argument, that I started.” He laughed dryly. “I fell into depression, started cutting, doing drugs. I dropped out of college obviously, and often just disappeared without telling anyone where I was going. Most of my time was spent in abandoned ally ways, doing whatever I could to get a high. Honestly I don’t even remember a lot about what happened to me back then, but I’m kinda glad I don’t.

As much as I thought I wanted to die, I was just like you when it happened. I was scared shitless, and it helped me start to recover. I had overdosed on a couple different drugs, and the doctors said I was officially dead for longer than they’d ever seen someone be, and come back. But I did, I’m alive and breathing today. When they told me I had been dead, I got so scared. I immediately thought of my sister and best friend. I would never have gotten to see them again, I would never again be able to experience their lives. That was the turning point for me.

It honestly overjoys me to see how into art you are, how you use it as a source of release. That was what helped me most in my own recovery, and it’s why I became an Art teacher.”

I’m silent during his entire speech, and half way through I start crying again.

“is that how you knew about me?”

“On the first day of class, when I saw you, I saw the look in your eyes. Where others see boredom, anger, resentment, I saw a silent plead for help. It was barely there, but I saw it. Because I’ve had that same look before.”

The lights in the class room shut off, leaving only a select one or two for security. Looking up at the clock on the wall, I heard Mr. Jeager sigh.

“It’s 5 o’clock. I was supposed to be home to my sister two hours ago.” he says quietly. Just as I’m about to speak, he starts again. 

“Come stay with me tonight. Well, us. You’ve made it clear you can’t go home, nor do you have a place to go. So, come stay at our place. I need to know you are safe tonight, both from your father and yourself.”  
I shake my head. “I can’t do that. I’m a student, you could get fired if anyone found out, everyone always assumes things you know.”

“Honestly Levi? I’m not sure I really care about that right now. Your life is in danger, I think I am within full rights to keep you safe. Damn anyone who thinks it’s better for you to go home than to a teachers house.” He stands, offering me his hand. 

“I hope your sister is nice...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdlkfhasldkf I hate how this chapter ended but ;-;  
> I couldn't think of anything else please don't hate me


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets the family, family meets Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayyyyyy two chapters in one week?!? That hasn't happened since I first put the story up! 
> 
> Lots of dialog in this chapter so I hope it's not too confusing. 
> 
> Also I changed the name of the boy-twin-child. Lol

The drive back to the house was a quiet one, Levi sat in the passenger seat queitly, occasionally sniffling or wiping at his eyes. When we pulled into the drive way, I turned to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Can you wait in here for second? I need to tell my sister you’ll be staying here, at least for tonight. Is that okay?” He glanced between my hand on his shoulder and my eyes, then nodded. Smiling softly, I get out of the car and walk up to the house. 

“Mikasa, are you home? I need to talk to-”

“Eren! You are late! Dinner is already done for gods sake. What took you so long, the kids were worried.” As if on cue, little Carla and Andy ran up and hugged my legs tight. 

“I’m really sorry, I had a student stay after class to finish a project.” Leaning down, I pick up Carla who was reaching up for me. “Hey there, princess. I hear you missed me.”

“Un-ca Ren! I mish ouhh.” I kissed her forehead and turned back to Mikasa.

“Listen, remember that student I told you about a few weeks ago? Levi?" I lower my voice to a whisper and sit Carla down. “He’s out in the car. His dad threatened him again, and he had a breakdown after class today. I offered to let him stay here for the night, and I’ll find a place for him in the morning, I promise. But I couldn’t let him go back to that piece of shit, I’ve seen what he does to the kid.”

Her face is stern with a touch of disapproval, but then softens. 

“Of course, Eren. But please, do be careful. Find him another place to stay tomorrow.” 

“I know. Also, he’s really quiet, so...” 

“Just go get him. I’ll tell Armin.” She shoo’s me out the door.

 

I knock on Levi’s window before opening the door and he jumps a bit. 

“So, welcome to your home for the night.” He flashes me a hopeful look and I can’t help but smile. 

“She really said it was okay?”

“Yeh, she wasn’t too happy about me being 2 hours late, but she understands. You get to meet my niblings! They are 2 1/2 years old.” 

He climbs out of the car with his bag. “Niblings?” 

“Like, a word for nieces and nephews all in one word? Like, saying siblings instead of brothers and sisters.” Opening the door, I let Levi walk in first.  
“Un-ca Ren! Who dis?” Carla runs up to me again, Andy hiding behind the couch peaking out. 

“This is Levi, he’s a student of mine.” 

“Why he here? Is he gon-na eat wiff us? Can, can he daw like ouu?”

“He is, and he can draw. He’s the best artist in my class.” I look over at Levi and he’s looking at the ground, cheeks blushed over lightly. 

“Lee....Leeee...Evi! Evi, hold me!” Carla throws herself over at Levi and I do my best to keep her from slipping out of my grip. Levi’s eyes go wide, but he reaches out and takes her tentatively.

“You aren’t very shy, are you? What’s your name?” Levi smiles softly at her, and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. 

“Carla! I not shy. An...An..dy...Andy is o’er der, he shy.” She turns and looks behind the couch, and a flash of blonde hair can barely be seen, going back into hiding. He peaks around again, then runs over to my legs so I lift him. He hides his face in my shoulder. 

Mikasa and Armin walk out of their bedroom and greet us. 

“Hi, you must be Levi. I’m Mikasa, Eren’s sister, and this is my husband Armin. I see you’ve already met Carla and Andy.” She smiles warmly and extends a hand. 

Shifting his weight to hold the young child in one arm, Levi shakes her hand, then Armin’s.  
“Thank you so much for letting me stay here tonight. I, uh, It really means a lot to me.” 

“It’s no problem at all. Well, dinner is done, are you hungry?” Andy’s head pops up and he lunges for his mother.

“Food!” he yells as he kicks his feet, Mikasa laughes and barely manages to take him in his squirming. Armin offers to take Carla from Levi, and they head for the kitchen. 

As I start in the same direction, I feel a tug at my sleeve. I turn to see Levi looking down at his feet again, but a very small grin tugs at the corner of his lips. He looks up at me and my heart stops, because for the first time since I met this boy, his eyes weren’t full of dread. They didn’t scream for help. They were warm, filled with thanks. 

“Mr. Jeager-”

“You can call me Eren, you know. Most other students do already, and by this point I think we’re past formalities.” I chuckle a bit and to my surprise, he lets out a small huff of amusement.

“....Eren, then. Thanks. For giving me this chance. I owe you a lot.” My face drops a bit, the words are sobering, and I pull him into a quick hug. 

“You don’t owe me anything. I’m glad I could help.” Pulling back with my hands on his shoulers, I look at his face and my breathe stops.

He’s smiling at me. It’s small, but it’s not a smirk. Not a grin. He’s smiling. His eyes have a slight sparkle to them, the grey orbs almost clear. 

Standing there staring at him for admittingly too long, his smile drops and licks his lips, and I swear he looks at my lips before looking down again. 

“Eren, Levi, Dinner! It’s going to get cold!” Mikasa’s yell from the kitchen breaks the spell on me and I let go of Levi’s shoulders, but grab his wrist lightly and lead him to the kitchen. As we sat at the table eating, my mind kept going back to the way he licked his lips while his eyes were on mine.

_‘I will not kiss him. I will not kiss him. I will not kiss him. I will not kiss him.’_

\--------

_‘Fucking don’t kiss him. Don’t fucking kiss him. Fucking fuck don’t kiss your damn teacher.’_

“Levi, would you like to take a shower before bed? The twins are already asleep, so Armin and I will be going to bed soon. Eren’s usually up late though, so he can shower after you.” Mikasa was holding a towel out for me.

“I don’t have any other clothes with me..”

“Oh! It’s okay. Armin or Eren should have something for you to wear, actually you’re just about the same size as Armin so I’ll grab you something to sleep in.” Nodding my head, she hands me the towel and I walk to the bathroom. 

Turning the water on all hot, I step into the steaming cascade. My thigh sting and I’m reminded of my cuts from that morning after fathers treats. Sighing, I look down and pinch at the flesh, then move to my stomach and do the same thing. I was getting skinnier each day, as you can’t throw up from being punched in the stomach if your stomach is empty. My hip bones were jutting out from my body at odd degrees, I could count up 4 of my ribs that were easily seen. Uneven knobs had replaced my knees and elbows. Bruises adorned my pale skin. I look a nightmare come to life. 

I wash quickly and turn off the water, but as I am drying I feel myself starting to get very dizzy and lightheaded. I grab the edge of the sink but the room keeps spinning faster, my hands slip and everything goes black just as there is a knock at the door.

\-----

“Levi, are you done in there? I went to the store and bought some boxers, figured you didn’t want to wear someone elses..” 

A low _thunk_ could be heard from behind the door, and immediately I started to panic.

_“Levi..." Nothing. “Hey I’m coming in, okay?”_

Opening the door, Levi is laying on the bathroom floor. _Shit_. His skin is more pale then usual and his fingers are lightly twitching. I drop to my knees in front of him and lift him into my arms. His head falls to my shoulder and his arms are limp at his sides. 

“Levi, wake up. Please Levi, open your eyes!” His skin is hot to the touch and his face is flushed. Cupping his cheek, I brush the wet hair out if his face. _‘What am I going to do?”_ Since he was naked, I grab the clothes Mikasa picked out and pushed the tshirt over his head, then carefully pulled the sweats up, careful to not see anything(as much as I really wanted to.)Taking the hand towel from the wall, I gently wipe at his hair to start drying it, stroking his face with my thumb. Eyelids flutter and he looks up confused, groaning and reaching for his head. 

“I..what..oww...” 

“Oh my gosh you scared me so much. You’re awake. Oh gods you’re awake...” Not thinking, I hug him tight. He tenses for a second, but then wraps a slender arm around my own arm. 

“I think I fell. Or passed out. I was standing, then I wasn’t?” His voice was barely above a whisper and he spoke slow. I sighed in relief that, at least he was okay now. 

“How are you feeling now? Do you think you need to go to the hospital?” His grey eyes went wide. 

“No! No...I’m okay. I think I ate too much at dinner. I just...could I get some water?” 

“Yeh, of course, just...” I didn’t want to get up. It didn’t make sense how much seeing him passed out had scared me. I mean, yeh it warranted a reaction but the feeling of dread I felt when he didn’t wake up when I moved him? I didn’t want to let go of him. Not yet. I dropped the towel I was using to dry his hair and wrapped the arm supporting his back around his waist, holding him tight. 

At that moment, I knew I was in too deep. I was going to take care for this boy, my student, no matter what it cost me. 

“Mr. Jea-...Eren what are you...ah fuck.” I felt his arms wrap around me just as tight, and noticed his breathing was deep and heavy. 

“If...if you’re going to do this...if you’re going to be here for me...you can’t leave you understand...”his slim body was shaking against me. “you can’t leave me until i tell you to...” 

“I promise you I’m not going anywhere, Levi..” His hands clutched at my shirt and for the second time that day, I held the crying boy close to me. Running my fingers through his hair, I hum an old lullaby my mom used to sing to me. I’ve long forgotten the words but the tune remained. Rocking back and forth, I hummed with my cheek pressed to his until he fallen asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff? FinallYY?  
> Still kinda angsty but fluff?!?
> 
> tumblr: rivailleloveseren  
> tracking: fic: confide in me


	9. Not a Chapter(But please read!)

Okay. I know it's been like 3 months since I've updated this, and I'm sorry if you got your hopes up thinking this was an update. 

Here's the thing. I haven't given up on this, but I'm very very displeased with it. I don't have a beta reader, and everytime I've sat down to write a new chapter, I re-read through all the old ones to get my creative juices flowing. And everytime I read through it, I am more and more displeased. I don't like the flow of it. I started writing it before I knew a lot about the characters attitudes and dispositions, so there's a lot of OOC moments. 

So this is what I'm gonna do. I plan on completely rewriting this story. It'll have the same story line and everything, but I wanna make it better. So this is what I want from all of you!  
What changes do YOU want to see in this story? Was there any particular moment you just thought, "Eh, I don't think *this character* would really do that." or "Well, this part didn't really go too smoothly." Any and all creative criticism is welcome! If you'd like to contact me on tumblr, you can do so at rivailleloveseren.tumblr.com :) 

I'm gonna leave this up until I have the first "remake" chapter done, and then I'm going to delete and restart, but I'm going to keep it on this post/story as a whole so that if you are subscribed, you'll be notified. 

Thank you all for reading and for sending me positive messages here and on tumblr, I'm really glad you like this story, I hope I can make it even better for you all!


End file.
